Peter Dinklage
Winston / Toxie, the Hero
Taylour Paige
J.J. Doherty, the Wild Card
Julia Davis
Kissy Sturnevan, his Associate
Jonny Coyne
Thad Barkabus, the Big Boss
Elijah Wood
Fritz Garbinger, his Creepy Brother
Kevin Bacon
Bob Garbinger, the Villain
David Yow
Guthrie Stockins, the Wise Hobo
Shaun Dooley
Mel Ferd, the Crusading Reporter
Sunil Patel
Dr. Walla, who means well
Margo Cargill
Agent Sarah Weatherwax, aka Sneaky Cheetah
Lloyd Kaufman
Lloyd, the Hospital Grump
Spencer Wilding
Monster Garbinger, his Imperfect Self / Him Under the Hood, mysterious guitar
Julian Kostov
Budd Berserk, crazy/dangerous
Neda Spasova
DJ Cool Cthulu, tables & black magic
Nencho Stefanov
Nightmare Josh, rhythm of madness
Dimitar Bozhilov
Zodiac 3000, hype & parkour
Abraham Lewis
Spence, his Shithead Heir
Owen Davis
Louis, the Brave Fry Cook
Alen Angelov
Bike Helmet Kid, no car for you
Lee Eddy
CJ Doons, formerly Miss Fall Harvest
Ev Lunning
Rick Feet, the Silver Pro
Rachel Grode
Bonnie Dimble, on the beat!
JR Esposito
J.R. Gile, reporting live!
John Riho
Stuart, a Sympathetic Stagehand
Randy E. Aguebor
Coach Bobby Stanwyck, on fire
David Kanov
Student Judge, hard to impress
Mariah Rozeva
Student Judge, hard to impress
Anh Kamenov
Student Judge, hard to impress
Goran Simeonov
Student Judge, hard to impress
Chris Sharp
C.S. Hawley, the Payroll Guard
Byron Brown
Sad Commercial Man, "thank you, Bob"
Jane Levy
Cheerful Insurance Rep (voice)